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i feel obliged to write something today. my lazy ass bought a ticket for Tibetan ’99 cause RATM joined the Chicago show at Alpine Valley but then this morning i went back to sleep cause it looked like the show would be flooded out. should of went, cause even the mud would have been better than me sitting here doing shit. guess ill get laundry done. i was thinking last night, that there has gotta be a better way than ticketmaster. i bought the ticket that was supposed to cost 38.50 and it ended up at 47.00. if you want to buy the tickets in person, you gotta go to a dominicks food store and hope the system is working. does ticketmaster pay the people at dominicks? maybe sidewalk.com people could devise a way to beat them with some new tech stuff. i hope so, cause no service fee should be over 5 bucks ever! my grandmother died friday night/saturday morning. such a good lady, took care of me alot when i was little. i just want to say thank you.

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yesterday was a sad day. imagine if they had never been disrespected by anyone. at least 15 people would still be alive today. were they just bad seeds, destined to kill? or created by the way they were treated by others? guess your answer kinda defines you. id like to know about their homelife. people are people. why must we make any other designation besides that? kosovo and littleton have that problem in common, people are not considered equal for some god damn reason. we will learn somehow or another, why must more die before we do…

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the internet is simply amazing, really. so much is possible, we’ve only tapped it slightly. anyway. this Kosovo thing is horrible. should the US be in it? a mean man is leading others to kill other people, but we think by killing some of them we can help stop it. i hope so. someone made an interesting comparison. imagine if some empire had decided to kill “American settlers” to prevent us from displacing and killing the native americans. war is wrong, but i dont know what we could have done to stop Hitler.

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Tibetan Freedom concert is in Chicago this year, June 12 and 13. i cannot wait. but first is Poi Dog and Ani DiFranco, and i dont have to take any days off work for any of the shows. very good. so if we were all vegetarians, we could feed alot more people on this planet. this is due to the loss of energy as heat for every stage that it takes to get to us. less stages, less waste. so i need to try at least the vegetarian thing. one way to fix all the problems in the world is to raise everyone’s self-esteem. there is so much crap due to people needing to constantly compete about dumb stuff, and degrading others to make themselves feel better.

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why are there still so many sexist and racist, and especially heterosexists in the world today? it seems society still thinks gays are okay to discriminate openly against, but we shouldnt kill or torture them anymore. glad weve progressed so far. this is really sickening to me. i need new friends, or at least to find a way to spend more time with the more accepting ones. my girlfriend is heterosexist, but somehow that is okay cause its part of her religion. fuck religion. it justified whatever society needed it to at anytime in history. people think racism and sexism is less rampant, but i think it is just more hidden. i never met jesus, and so ive been told different things about him and god and such. but i prefer to think that people can accept each other, and realize all the other shit is crap. so i like to think jesus was just a man who did this. i guess ill go to hell for this

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i missed the damn train today. it changed tracks, but i didnt find out until a freight train blocked me from crossing over, and it left before i could. fucked. was supposed to go to UI to see friends, and improv, and hang at a party. now i gotta shovel snow and hope to make it out of the alley. decided id write more and randomly and hope meaningful stuff somehow materializes. i need to change the picture

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so my best thoughts always seem to be in the shower or while im driving, which are of course the worst times to write anything down. i hate that. ive been thinking about religion and politics again. anyway, gotta go